Waking Up: For Me it Began With the Wallpaper
I’m often asked, “How did
your spiritual path begin?”
The earliest memory that I
have of “something greater” is when I was about seven years old. When the world
would become too much for me, I would go and lock myself in our downstairs bathroom.
The bathroom was wallpapered in a pattern of the streets of France. There were
little cafés, pastry shops and brasseries. Little alleyways with flower shops
and confectioners.
I would imagine myself
inside a scene of the wallpaper, visiting first one shop, and then the next. Of
course I would be warmly welcomed by the shopkeeper, treated to some wonderful
French delicacy, and heaped with praise for being the obviously special kid
that I was. These people in the wallpaper sure recognized me and my brilliance
– why was it so hard for those family members outside the bathroom?
While I was in there
imagining, I had another little trick. I noticed as I started to focus on the
wallpaper, I would also start to notice my breathing – like it was really loud
and plain and really big. I started to focus on it more and more, to the
exclusion of anything else. And as I did this, I noticed that I started to feel
better. I started to feel bigger, almost like I was not my body, but something
much bigger.
I started to notice that
if I just said to myself as I inhaled nice and slow, “B----R-----E------“ and
exhaled nice and slow “A-------T-------H-------E” and just practiced saying
that word as I did it, all these weird and wonderful feelings came over me. I
felt so much clearer. So much more at peace.
And whatever (or whomever) I had gone into the bathroom to escape didn’t
really seem to matter too much anymore.
Of course at that time I
had no context for this experience -- I didn’t know that I was tapping into the
ancient art of meditation. For me, it was just my little secret thing that I
did when I needed to feel better than I did at the moment.
When I was a freshman in
high school I read the book, “Life After Life,” by Dr. Raymond Moody. Dr. Moody
has done extensive research on the near death experience, documenting the
common stages that these people pass through. When I read that book I just knew
that it was the truth. And the next time I had that feeling of knowing truth
was when I discovered the Seth books in college.
Seth Speaks and The Nature
of Personal Reality totally rocked my world.
As it turns out, I’ve
discovered a few more of those “little things I do” over the years. And they
have really helped me to have a life that feels good. My work is about sharing them with you
so you may feel good too.